


i love this secret language that we're speaking

by cheryltonis, endofdaysforme



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, bye, hi the prom episode was disppointing this is fic one of like three to make up for it, prom fic is coming i promise!, shout out to syd for giving me this idea i love that bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 01:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18680914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheryltonis/pseuds/cheryltonis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/endofdaysforme/pseuds/endofdaysforme
Summary: toni topaz has had a lot of good ideas in her life.dating cheryl blossom being one of the best ones.but this one takes the goddamn cake.she’s in the arts and crafts isle to buy cheryl some new pencils because her other ones are almost stubs now when she sees them, and the grin that comes over her face tells her this is the perfect idea.so, after grabbing the pencils cheryl requested, she also buys at least three packets of the little alphabetized magnets, one in red, one in pink (because that’s their signature colors) and one in purple because why the hell not. she throws them into her basket that already contains pain relief medication and chocolate before she buys some eggs and milk and makes her way to the cash register, already thinking up notes to leave on the fridge when she gets home.--aka, cheryl and toni's life journey together with a super corny tradition they have of leaving notes for each other on the fridge with alphabetized magnets.--aka, sometimes i can write pure fluff! imagine that!





	i love this secret language that we're speaking

**Author's Note:**

> hi, the prom episode was super disappointing and yes, i'm writing a prom oneshot that will be released later on today, HOWEVER, miss sydni, aka the author of the infamous 'i just want you to know who i am' fic, gave me this idea and i wrote it for her because THAT'S LOVE BITCH. happy birthday syd even though it's not your birthday! <3 the farm never existed in this fic because fuck them am i rite?!
> 
> follow me on twitter at @endofdaysforme to hear me rant about theories and cry about the next episode because DID Y'ALL SEE THAT EXTENDED PROMO?! CHERYL IS GETTING SNATCHED AND I AM NOT OKAY.
> 
> fic title from “Magnets” by Disclosure ft. Lorde

toni topaz has had a lot of good ideas in her life.

 

dating cheryl blossom being one of the best ones. 

 

but this one takes the goddamn cake.

 

she’s in the arts and crafts isle to buy cheryl some new pencils because her other ones are almost stubs now when she sees them, and the grin that comes over her face tells her this is the perfect idea.

 

so, after grabbing the pencils cheryl requested, she also buys at least three packets of the little alphabetized magnets, one in red, one in pink (because that’s their signature colors) and one in purple because why the hell not. she throws them into her basket that already contains pain relief medication and chocolate before she buys some eggs and milk and makes her way to the cash register, already thinking up notes to leave on the fridge when she gets home.

 

she smiles when she sees a bouquet of flowers and grabs those as well.

 

sure enough, cheryl is home when toni gets back, emerging from the living room and making her way into the kitchen with a wide grin on her face that cheryl only grins back at as she presses a kiss to the corner of the pink haired girl’s mouth.

 

“mmm, thank you, babe. i’m sorry i didn’t come with you-.”

 

“don’t be silly, you’re in pain. is it getting any better?” toni asks with a frown, dropping the bags onto the counter and reaching her hands out to rub cheryl’s stomach over the heatpack pressed tightly to it while cheryl begins rummaging through the bags, smiling when she pulls out the bouquet of flowers.

 

“for moi?”

 

“of course.” toni chuckles, wrapping her arms around cheryl’s waist and rubbing circles into her lower back as the girl buries her face into the flowers and sniffs with a happy sigh.

 

“you’re perfection, t.t.”

 

“anything for my girl. now, you didn’t answer my question…” toni pulls back, grips cheryl’s chin between her fingers and watches with heartbreak as her girlfriend blinks back tears and shakes her head.

 

“no…it’s getting worse.” she croaks out, sighing as toni tucks a lock of hair behind her ear before she lets her go and nods once with pursed lips.

 

“let me put these away and then we’ll cuddle up in bed and i’ll give you a massage, okay?”

 

toni’s witnessed at least sixteen of cheryl’s cycles now, each one almost as agonizing as the last. this time of month for her poor girlfriend is not easy, the cramps almost unbearable for the red head. toni still remembers the day they had gotten so bad, she had almost called an ambulance because cheryl was literally screaming in pain and sobbing into her chest, small fists beating against her as she wailed and begged for toni to end her suffering. 

 

they’ve gone to the doctors multiple times, but apparently, this was just a side effect of cheryl’s condition: having polycystic ovarian syndrome meant that she suffered from severe cramping, but at least her periods weren’t too irregular, which was apparently a good sign…

 

still, it sucks that toni has to watch her go through this every thirty or so odd days…she hates seeing cheryl in any kind of pain. 

 

“t.t…what’s this?” cheryl asks, pulling out the three packets of magnets with a raised brow as toni grins and takes them from her hands with a shrug.

 

“so we can leave messages on the fridge for each other. i got your pencils, too.” toni says, pulling them out of the bag as cheryl takes them and looks at the magnets with a roll of her eyes.

 

“you’re cheesy.” 

 

“am not.”

 

“are, too.”

 

toni throws the magnets on top of the fridge before she puts everything else away, pours a glass of water for cheryl and pops two pills out of the capsule for cheryl, holding them out to her with a smile.

 

“drink up.” 

 

they end the night cuddled up in their bed, watching netflix with cheryl planted firmly in toni’s lap, eating her chocolate and pressing the heat pack against her stomach while toni massages her shoulders and presses kisses to the back of her head.

 

"i love you cher-bear. forever and always, babe."

 

\---------------

 

cheryl has to admit, she thought the idea was dumb. 

 

having colored letters all over her fridge is not something she ever thought she’d see, and at first, every time she saw them planted firmly against the silver steel of the fridge, she rolled her eyes and tried to resist the urge to throw them all into the bin.

 

but then toni actually began to leave messages for her.

 

and cheryl found herself starting to fall in love with those stupid little colored magnets.

 

it began a few days after toni had bought them, cheryl waking up bleary eyed and still in a bit of pain even though her period was well on its way out for the month to an empty bed. after calling for toni for at least two minutes before realizing she wasn’t there, cheryl had gone downstairs to the kitchen with a groan and had found an assortment of letters in different colors and in uppercase and lowercase displaying a simple message:

 

_“gOod mORniNG my LoVe! WeNt to PoP’S To GeT BReaKFaST, BrB.”_

 

cheryl finds herself smiling stupidly at the message before she grabs more letters from the top of the fridge and writes out a reply, hoping that toni will find it when she gets home.

 

_“will be upstairs waiting. p.s, learn to spell properly when using these, thank you.”_

 

about an hour later, she hears toni’s loud laughter from the kitchen downstairs before her girlfriend appears at the doorway with a bag full of food and a grin on her face, and when they spend the morning eating breakfast in bed, cheryl finds that maybe the letters weren’t such a bad idea.

 

\--------------

 

leaving cheryl late at nights to go work security for _la bonne nuit_ is painful. toni hates the idea of having to spend the night hearing people whistle at her or question her ability at her job instead of in bed with the love of her life, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

 

doesn’t mean she likes it.

 

but veronica pays her well, and toni’s never been one to freeload, no matter how goddamn rich her girlfriend is, so at seven o’clock at on friday night, with a deep sigh and a less than enthusiastic groan, toni detaches herself from cheryl, turns off her alarm and presses a kiss to her temple before throwing the covers off herself as the red head grumbles and grabs her shirt to stop her from pulling away.

 

“five more minutes.” cheryl murmurs, prompting toni to chuckle as she trails kisses down her cheek to the corner of her mouth.

 

“mmm, i wish i could stay, but i don’t wanna be late, baby…try not to miss me too much, i’ll be back by one, okay?” 

 

“impossible. miss you every second you’re not here…love you.” cheryl manages to slur out, and toni smiles softly before draping the blankets over cheryl’s body once more. 

 

“love you, too. forever and always.” 

 

toni gets changed and makes her way downstairs, sighing as she shrugs her pretty poisons jacket on before making her way to the fridge and grinning at the little magnets waiting to be placed in position.

 

she laughs to herself before spelling out a message, and makes her way out of the back door with a grin, praying to everyone she knows that cheryl wakes up and sees it at some point during her shift tonight.

 

sure enough, at around nine, toni’s phone buzzes in her back pocket, and she opens it up to see a message from her girl.

 

**cher-bear <3 [21:13]**  
_really, t.t.?_

 

toni laughs when a photo comes through of the message she left on the fridge in clear view.

 

_“sEnD NuDEz?”_

 

she giggles and types out a reply with her tongue poking out between her teeth.

 

**you [21:14]**  
_it’s an entirely reasonable request! i’m boooooored and i miss youuuuuuu!_

 

she takes a photo of herself pouting and sends it along with her message, and when cheryl doesn’t reply for a few moments, she finds herself actually getting anxious that she might’ve pissed her girlfriend off, prompting veronica to make her way over with a raised eyebrow.

 

“hard at work, i see?” she teases. toni rolls her eyes and shrugs.

 

“you’re pulling me away from a night spent under the covers with cheryl, i can text her if i want, woman.” she grumbles. veronica simply laughs and walks away before toni’s phone buzzes and she unlocks it with the velocity of a bike racing down a highway. 

 

**cher-bear [21:20]**  
_…hide your phone from prying eyes._

 

“oh shit.” toni whimpers, immediately making her way to the dark corner of the club where no one can see her before another photo message comes through from cheryl.

 

“oh…my god…” 

 

naked. she’s naked. she’s…on their bed, no clothes, hair splayed over the pillow, pale white skin in full goddamn view-

 

“RONNIE, I’M LEAVING! EMERGENCY!” 

 

before veronica can even ask, toni’s running out of the club so fast, you might as well call her flash gordon.

 

\-----------------

 

on their two year anniversary, toni finds herself waking up at the sound of an alarm blaring loudly, causing her to groan as she presses the button on the side of her phone and rolls over to wrap her arms around cheryl, prepared to fall asleep again. she doesn’t even know why an alarm went off, she didn’t set one-

 

oh.

 

her arms meet empty air, and toni blinks her eyes open blearily to find an empty bed, no red head in sight.

 

_what the fuck…_

 

toni slowly sits up, looking around with a less than enthused growl before it all dissipates at the sight of rose petals on the ground, leading towards the door, her eyes taking everything in before she raises an eyebrow in surprise.

 

she stands up, stretches with a groan before she begins padding her way across the room, her amused smirk only growing wider and wider as she follows the flower petals all the way down the steps and into the kitchen.

 

she stops in front of the fridge, and laughs loudly when she sees the magnets spelling out a message.

 

_“i have a surprise waiting in the backyard. don’t be late. xo.”_

 

toni chuckles before she makes her way out through the back door-

 

and finds cheryl sitting on a bunch of blankets, the sun only just beginning to rise over the horizon to cast a faint glow over her beautiful girlfriend, who grins widely and gestures to the pancakes and eggs and waffles in front of her.

 

“good morning, mon tresor! breakfast while watching a beautiful sunrise awaits!” she says cheerily, prompting toni to grin as she skips her way over and collapses in front of cheryl before gripping her face and kissing her fiercely, only pulling away to rest her forehead against cheryl’s with a sigh of content.

 

“mmm…happy anniversary, cher-bear.” she whispers. cheryl hums before she kisses her lips once more with a soft smile.

 

“happy anniversary, antoinette. if you may take your position…” 

 

toni smirks and cocks an eyebrow as cheryl tugs on her hand and moves her around until she’s sitting in cheryl’s lap with her back pressed to cheryl’s chest, the girl’s arms enveloping her as she kisses her temple and reaches for a blueberry on top of one of the pancakes.

 

“this definitely out does last year’s anniversary. having dinner at pop’s was kind of lackluster…” toni says with a frown, but cheryl kisses the back of her head before holding her closer with a sigh.

 

“i didn’t mind it, t.t. the serpents were struggling and so were you. besides, any anniversary with you is already perfection in my eyes…”

 

toni can’t help but smile at those words as she leans back into cheryl’s arms and basks in the warmth as the sun comes up over the horizon, bathing them in light and happiness.

 

\------------------

 

_“i LoVe YoU! yOu LiGhT uP my WHoLe wOrLd!”_

 

cheryl laughs lightly, smiling fondly at the words on the fridge like she has been all day before she grabs ingredients from the fridge and begins making some dinner for herself and toni. she’s been hard at work lately, and as much as it irritates cheryl that toni’s spending a lot of time at her job than she is with her, she knows this is something toni needs.

 

they broke up last time something like this came up because cheryl couldn’t really understand why toni was so adamant on spending time with the pretty poisons and working instead of spending time with her, but this time, cheryl’s forcing herself not to get mad about it. she knows toni needs space, and she’s more than willing to give it to her. she can’t go through the torture of breaking up with toni again, spending two weeks without her had been hell on earth.

 

but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t make her mad sometimes that toni isn’t around. it’s not her girlfriend’s fault, she knows that, a job requires complete and utter devotion, but still… 

 

the sound of a loud bang and frustrated growl pulls cheryl out of her thoughts before the sound of heeled boots stomping into the kitchen echoes out, and she turns to see toni with an expression of pure _murder_ on her face as she looks at cheryl with her brown eyes blazing.

 

“i swear those assholes have nothing better to do but try and grab my ass and undermine me because i’m a woman!” she practically screeches, ripping her jacket off and throwing it onto the counter as cheryl stares at her in shock.

 

“what are you talking about-.”

 

“the customers at _la bonne nuit!_ i got groped twice and one guy told me he’s surprised veronica would even hire a girl gang for security! like hello! we’re still a gang, just because we’re girls, doesn’t mean we aren’t strong enough to work fucking security! fucking men!”

 

toni collapses down into a seat by the island with a huff, and cheryl simply slides over a glass of water with a chuckle, only slightly fuming at the idea of slimy men putting their hands on her girl-

 

“and to top it all off, veronica’s thinking of extending the hours of the club, which means i have to work longer!” 

 

cheryl freezes with her hand on the handle of the fridge, barely acknowledges anything else toni says as the words process in her brain.

 

she grits her teeth before she slams the fridge shut, prompting toni to suddenly fall silent as cheryl’s fingers play with the magnets on the fridge.

 

“so what does this mean? you’re going to be absent even more than you already are?” cheryl says quietly, her whole body trembling as toni lets out a loud sigh behind her.

 

“cher…”

 

“toni, you already spend literally the whole evening there, so what? you’re going to be spending _all night_ there, too?” cheryl manages to get out through slightly gritted teeth. she’s trying so hard to stay calm right now-

 

“cheryl, i need this job-.”

 

“no, you don’t! how many times do i have to tell you that, toni!? you don’t need this job-.”

 

“yes, i do! cheryl, we’ve talked about this, i can’t stay here without doing something productive, i’m not gonna be some lazy bum who lounges around and lives off my girlfriend-.”

 

“are you calling me a lazy bum because i don’t have a job?!” cheryl growls, spinning around on her heel to glare at toni with nothing but anger as the pink haired girl blinks once in surprise before shaking her head furiously.

 

“what?! no, cheryl, you’re twisting my words-.” 

 

“you know what, toni? do whatever you want, i’m going to bed.” cheryl snaps, throwing the ingredients for dinner back into the fridge before she storms off up to her room without a backward glance, leaving toni wondering what the hell just happened as she fights back the tears that threaten to spill over.

 

\----------

 

toni drags her feet, groaning in pain as she pushes the front door open and glances down at her phone with bleary eyes.

 

_3:05AM._

 

she sighs and closes the door as quietly as possible before she makes her way to the fridge to grab a drink of water.

 

veronica had decided to extend the hours of _la bonne nuit_ now, meaning longer nights at work for toni, and the last three weeks have been torture.

 

she’s sick of working so late, but she doesn’t really have much of an option. the pretty poisons were her gang, and veronica had them under contract, she has to work the hours she’s given.

 

it’s annoying, and toni’s fucking exhausted, but what hurts more than anything is the strain it’s putting on her relationship.

 

it’s been three weeks since their fight, and because of her long hours, toni’s spent all day sleeping, and by the time she wakes up, she has to go back to work again, meaning they haven’t had any time to actually talk about what happened. there’s just been this awkward tension and silence that exists for the three or so hours that toni is awake in the house before she has to go to work again.

 

toni’s not happy about it either, but she can’t do anything. she needs the money, and as much as cheryl has told her she doesn’t need to pay rent or do anything like that, toni won’t be a freeloader in thistlehouse.

 

they’ve already broken up once before about this issue, but toni’s determined for that not to happen again.

 

she closes the fridge and pours herself a glass of water with a sigh, and when she moves to place the water back in, she pauses, her eyes falling on the message on the fridge before tears well up in her eyes.

 

_“i miss you...i’m sorry.”_

 

toni’s whole body just collapses against the island in defeat, a shaky sigh escaping her before she drains her glass quickly and sets it in the sink, gripping the counter top harshly. 

 

_fuck this…_

 

toni pulls her phone out of her pocket, sends a quick message to veronica with two simple words:

 

**you [3:05]**  
_i quit._

 

she sends it without hesitation and shuts her phone off before she trudges up the stairs lethargically, making her way to their bedroom and slowly opening the door a crack to see cheryl fast asleep on their bed, clutching toni’s pillow in her arms with her nose buried into the pillowcase.

 

toni smiles and wipes away the tears from her cheeks before she makes her way over to the bed and collapses down on it on her knees, reaching for cheryl’s shoulder and giving it a gentle shake.

 

“cher? i’m home, baby…” cheryl simply groans and hugs her pillow closer, and toni chuckles before she sniffs once and gently pulls it out of cheryl’s grip, placing it back by the headboard and jumping off the bed to take off her jacket.

 

“toni?” cheryl grumbles, eyes fluttering open only the tiniest bit before toni clambers back onto the bed and pulls her girlfriend into her arms with a tired sigh.

 

“it’s me, baby…shh, go back to bed. i’m not going anywhere anymore, i promise. i…” toni trails off, swallowing thickly as she runs her fingers through thick, red curls.

 

“i miss you, too. and i’m sorry…but i quit, okay? i quit, i’m not going back there…” toni whispers. cheryl suddenly wraps her arms around her waist, burying her face into toni’s neck with a whimper before she kisses her collarbone tenderly with a shaky sigh of her own.

 

no more words are spoken, and despite toni’s anxiousness about now needing to find another job, right now, with cheryl in her arms, she knows she made the right choice.

 

\------------------

 

“veronica, please, there has to be someone else you can ask to help you with this!” 

 

cheryl groans and rubs her temples, looking up at veronica pleadingly as the raven haired girl crosses her arms over her chest with a huff.

 

“no, there isn’t! you’re the best at interior decorating, cheryl! i just need to know if i should go with a nice shade of scarlet or a sunshine yellow for the baby’s room!” veronica exclaims, rubbing her incredibly swollen stomach with a sigh as cheryl glares up at her angrily.

 

this is so ridiculous, she should be with toni right now, celebrating their five year anniversary, not stuck with veronica of all fucking people trying to pick out a color for her stupid nursery-

 

“go with yellow, it’s a neutral gender color.” cheryl hisses. veronica glances down at the colors before she smiles and ticks the yellow shade with a grin.

 

“you’re right. now, in terms of cribs-.”

 

“that’s it! i’m leaving!” cheryl jumps up from their booth at pop’s before veronica can protest, grabbing her jacket and purse and rushing to the front door before she gets into her car and peels out of the parking lot before veronica can even stand up from the booth with her gigantic belly in her way.

 

_ha! that’s what you get!_

 

she drives like a madwoman straight to thistlehouse, prepared to grovel and apologize for hours on end to toni for missing half the day of their anniversary thanks to their friend who, as far as cheryl is concerned, shouldn’t be their friend considering she made toni stay at up and ungodly hours in the morning a few years back just to work a stupid security job at her fucking club...thank god toni ended up getting good pay taking photos for _the register_ instead, god bless alice smith for hiring her-

 

she huffs as she pulls into the driveway of thistlehouse a few minutes later, slamming the car door shut a little more harshly than she intended before she makes her way to the front door and shoves the key in.

 

“toni?! i’m home, i’m so sorry, baby, i-.”

 

she looks down in surprise to see rose petals forming a path up and forking to the left towards the kitchen.

 

cheryl raises an eyebrow, but smiles as she shuts the door behind her and hangs her jacket on the hook on the wall, dropping her keys and purse on the dresser and following the trail of rose petals with a racing heart.

 

she has no idea what toni has planned, but-

 

_oh…oh, i owe veronica a big apology…_

 

looks like that little raven haired princess was keeping her away for a reason…what was toni planning here?

 

“toni?” cheryl calls out softly, pushing the door to the kitchen open and glancing around to see the lights are completely off and there’s candles all over the place lighting up the room, the rose petals leading to the fridge, where there’s rose petals glued to the steel in the shape of a heart and letters forming words she can’t quite make out from this far-

 

cheryl steps closer and closer, and as soon as she reaches the fridge, her heart stops.

 

_“WiLL yOu MaRRy mE?”_

 

“oh my god…” cheryl’s eyes are glued to the message, reading it over and over again before-

 

“so…what’s it gonna be, blossom?”

 

she gasps and spins around at the sound of toni’s raspy voice behind her, and the sight before her has her immediately sobbing, tears of joy welling in her eyes and her heart clenching as she takes in toni bent down on one knee with a box in her hands, tears in her own eyes and a shaky smile on her face.

 

“i…the last five years with you have been the best of my life, cheryl blossom. and there’s no one else i want to spend the rest of my life leaving dumb magnetic fridge messages to. i want to build the rest of my life around you and with you, right here in this house, with our kids running around and our hearts full of light and love…i want to call you my wife for the rest of my days, i want…i want to grow old with you, cher-bear. nothing would make me happier than spending every second of my life with you by my side. so…what do you say, blossom? wanna make some nobody from the southside the happiest girl on planet earth by becoming her life partner?” toni says shakily, looking up at cheryl with nothing but adoration and love and respect-

 

cheryl whimpers before she collapses to her knees in front of toni, gripping her face in her hands and pressing a kiss to her lips before resting their foreheads against each other.

 

“stop calling me ‘blossom’…not when you want it to be ‘topaz’.” cheryl breathes. toni grins widely, and cheryl chokes on another sob before she kisses her again and pulls back, standing up on shaking legs before making her way to the fridge and grabbing three letters from the other side to form her answer.

 

she places the letters beneath the message and moves out of the way, watches toni read it before she whimpers with a trembling bottom lip as cheryl crashes back down in front of her, nodding furiously as she does.

 

“there’s my answer, it’s…of course it’s ‘yes’, toni-.” she’s cut off by full, pink lips crashing against her ruby red ones, the both of them crying against each other before toni suddenly wraps her arms around cheryl’s waist and lifts her up, hugging her close with a shaky laugh before she pulls back and takes the ring out of the box with a grin.

 

cheryl looks down at it in shock, sees the diamond shining in the candlelight as toni slides it onto her left finger before she tucks a finger under cheryl’s chin to lift her gaze, pressing a kiss to her lips as she does.

 

“i love you. i love you so much, cheryl…” 

 

“i love you too, t.t. more than words can say."

 

\--------------

 

toni stares at the words on the fridge with her stomach turning and her heart pounding against her chest almost painfully.

 

_“buy milk please, t.t, i forgot. love you!”_

 

she smiles through her tears, finds her hands almost automatically moving down to her stomach as she takes a few deep breaths in and tries to calm herself down, the doctors words reverberating in her mind over and over again. 

 

god, she can’t believe this…after almost a year of failed ivf treatment, cheryl had all but given up hope that she was ever going to get pregnant, and when toni had turned the conversation to herself carrying the child instead, she had seen the look of sadness in cheryl’s eyes before she had agreed that maybe toni would have better luck.

 

first try, and it’s done. toni feels so fucking guilty, and she’s so scared…she’s so scared that cheryl will get upset with her, but she knows it’s not a possibility. they’ve been wanting a baby for over a year now, cheryl won’t get upset that toni managed to do something she couldn’t…it wasn’t cheryl’s fault, not at all, she was just sick, it’s not something she can help…

 

she licks her lips before she moves to the fridge and begins adjusting the letters around. they’ve spent the last eight years leaving these dumb messages for each other on the fridge, and toni had proposed right by those letters three years ago, just two steps to her left…

 

it’s only fair the next big step in their lives is announced in the same way. 

 

as soon as she’s done, she steps back and lets out a shaky sigh, running her fingers over her stomach once more and gasping when she hears the front door open.

 

“toni? are you home?” cheryl calls out from the foyer, and toni swallows thickly and lets her tears fall as she tries to calm her voice down enough to reply.

 

“in the kitchen!” her voice still trembles, and toni can hear cheryl’s heels clicking on the ground before she hears the door open behind her.

 

“t.t.? is everything okay?” cheryl asks softly, concern dripping from every syllable as toni slowly spins around and makes sure her body is hiding the message from view.

 

she smiles as best as she can before she holds her hand out for cheryl to take, and the girl immediately rushes to her side, brows furrowed in concern as she presses a kiss between toni’s eyes tenderly.

 

“baby, what’s wrong?” she whispers, cradling toni’s face in her hands as the girl chokes on a sob and grips cheryl’s wrists, her index finger brushing over the engagement ring and the wedding band on cheryl’s second last finger on her left hand.

 

“read…the fridge.” toni manages to gasp out. cheryl frowns, but kisses her forehead once more before she gently pushes toni to the side to read the message on the fridge.

 

_“We’Re gOnNa bE pArEnTs, cHeR-BeAr.”_

 

cheryl’s eyes widen as she mouths the words, tears immediately forming in them as she gasps and looks at toni in complete and utter shock, gripping her elbows and looking her up and down before her eyes focus like a laser light on her stomach-

 

“i…you’re…you’re pregnant, toni?” she breathes out shakily. toni nods furiously, unable to contain her sobs as cheryl throws her arms around her with a loud cry of joy, lifting her up and spinning her around as she begins crying as well.

 

“you’re pregnant!? oh my god! oh my god, toni!” toni clings to her, burying her face into red hair with nothing but complete and utter happiness coursing through her before cheryl pulls back and grips her face in her hands with her face tear stricken and screwed up in joy.

 

“i l-love you! i l-love you s-so much-.” toni cuts her off with a kiss, wrapping her arms around her neck and holding her as close as possible while cheryl peppers kisses along her cheeks and the corner of her mouth, hugging her close and dropping to her knees as soon as they break apart.

 

“hi! hi, baby! god, we’ve waited so long for you!” cheryl cries out, gripping toni’s waist and lifting her shirt up to press a kiss to her stomach as toni simply smiles through her tears and rakes her fingers through cheryl’s hair gently. 

 

“cher, i’m…i’m so s-sorry it d-didn’t work for you-.” toni manages to choke out before cheryl’s head snaps up to look at her in shock.

 

“what? no, shh, hush, t.t…it’s okay, i’m just…” cheryl pushes herself up onto her feet shakily before she cradles toni’s face into her hands with a smile.

 

“you’re pregnant, toni…god, you’re having our baby, i…don’t be sorry, not even a little bit, not even at all…i love you, toni. we’re…we’re gonna b-be parents…” cheryl breathes, more tears falling down her cheeks as toni simply brushes them away and lets out a sigh of relief.

 

“we are…together, every step of the way, right?” toni croaks out. cheryl bumps her forehead against toni’s with a soft laugh before she nods against her without hesitation.

 

“every step of the way...forever and always, babe.” 

 

\-----------------

 

“billie, i said no!”

 

cheryl chuckles at the sound of toni’s voice echoing from the bathroom down the hall and decides she should probably help her wife out. she sets her book down on the bedside table and takes her reading glasses off before pushing herself out of bed and making her way towards the bathroom.

 

she knew from the second the doctor ran that ultrasound wand over toni's stomach and announced that there was two babies instead of one that twins would be a handful, she grew up with one after all, but these girls sometimes…at least cassandra was tame most of the time, it was billie that had the mean streak, even if she had her moments of overall cuteness…

 

she steps into the bathroom and the sight before her has her heart melting.

 

toni’s hunched over the bathtub, running the attached showerhead from the tap over cassandra’s body as billie looks up at toni with a grin and a gurgle, her equally dark hair dripping wet as she clenches her small fists at toni before her eyes land on cheryl behind her.

 

“mama! mama, here!” she squeals, causing cheryl to chuckle as she makes her way over to them and ducks down beside toni to reach for her daughter.

 

“billie, are you causing mommy trouble? you weren’t supposed to get your hair wet, baby…” she chastises softly, watching as billie pouts before she lifts the little bowl of water and goes to dip it over her head once more with a shout.

 

“nuh uh! okay, out of the bath for you!” toni says quickly, stopping her actions and wincing when the girl begins crying loudly. 

 

cheryl sighs and grabs a towel before she wraps it around billie and pulls her out of the tub, hugging her close as she wails and wraps her little arms around cheryl’s neck.

 

“i’ll put her to bed, will you be okay with cassie?” cheryl murmurs. toni simply nods with pursed lips as cassandra looks up at billie with an anxious frown, and cheryl leads her out of the bath before she hears cassandra begin whining about cheryl taking her sister away from her.

 

_god, these two are inseparable…just like jason and i were…_

 

cheryl blinks back her tears as billie’s wails turn into soft gurgles and leads them into their room, propping billie up onto her feet and running the towel through her hair until it’s damp. billie sniffs, eyes red as she looks at cheryl with a pout, who quickly kisses it away with a smile.

 

“i’m sorry, baby, but you didn’t follow mommy’s rules, and there needs to be punishment. she told you not to get your hair wet and what did you do?” cheryl says softly. billie sniffs again and bows her head.

 

“got my hair wet.” she whispers brokenly. cheryl sighs and presses another kiss to her brow before she grabs her pajamas and begins putting them on her daughter slowly. she runs a comb through her damp hair before billie suddenly wraps her arms around cheryl’s neck and buries her face into it with a whine.

 

“shh, it’s okay, baby, you just need to listen when mommy and mama tell you to do something, okay? it’s cold tonight, billie, and your hair is wet, you’re gonna get sick now…” cheryl murmurs, rubbing her back soothingly as billie continues to sniff in anguish against her.

 

“i’m sorry.” she chokes out. cheryl smiles and kisses her cheek before gripping her shoulders and pulling her off her, struggling a little with how tightly she’s holding on before she looks into billie’s eyes with a smile. 

 

“i know, honey. shh, it’s okay…” she wipes away her daughter’s tears gently before she picks her up and sets her down into bed, making sure the covers are over her properly as she looks up at cheryl anxiously.

 

“mommy hates me.” she sniffs, bottom lip trembling as cheryl coos softly with a quick shake of her head.

 

“no, baby, don’t ever thing that. mommy loves you so much, we both do…she just gets frustrated when you don’t listen, but nothing you ever do could make us hate you, okay? never, ever, ever…you both are our whole world, bubby.” cheryl croaks out, blinking back her tears, but billie looks unconvinced, sniffling before the door opens and toni walks through with cassandra in her arms, the girl looking at her mother and sister with a frown. she doesn’t say a word as toni sets her down and dresses her, and neither does toni.

 

cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, sees the slightly angered look in toni’s eyes before she finishes dresses cassandra and leads her to the bed. the girl slides in beside her sister and immediately wraps her arm around her, pulling her close and snuggling her as billie looks up at toni with a choked out sob.

 

“don’t h-hate me, m-mommy…”

 

almost immediately, the anger in toni’s eyes dissipates as she sighs, and cheryl stands and lets toni take her place, her wife tucking a lock of damp hair behind billie’s ear with a sad smile.

 

“baby, i could never hate you, don’t think that. i just get frustrated when you don’t listen to me, but i could _never_ hate you, okay? you’re the light of my life, i love you and cassie so much, you just gotta try and listen to me when i tell you to do something, alright?” billie nods once, sniffing back more tears as toni leans down to press a kiss to her forehead.

 

“here, let mommy read you both a bedtime story, okay?”

 

“yes, please!” cassandra pipes up, tongue poking out between her two missing front teeth as toni chuckles and grabs one of the books at their bedside table. 

 

cheryl smiles and presses a kiss to toni’s hair before she makes her way downstairs to the kitchen, and not ten minutes later does toni walk in with a deep sigh, nothing but fatigue shining in her eyes, but she smiles all the same and wraps her arms around cheryl from behind as the girl finishes up washing the dishes from dinner.

 

“god, billie’s a troublemaker. we’re gonna need to keep an eye on her once she goes to school-.”

 

“cassie will keep her grounded, don’t worry, babe.” cheryl murmurs, turning the tap off and shaking her hands before she turns in toni’s arms and wraps her arms around her tightly. 

 

“mmm…are you okay?” toni asks softly, looking up at her with a frown that cheryl quickly kisses away with a smile.

 

“never better. are you?”

 

“never better. come here…” toni takes her hand and leads her over to the fridge, grinning at the letters that spell out “cassie - dentist app at three” before she begins moving them around quickly.

 

cheryl chuckles when the letters form ‘i love you’, still written in a mix of upper and lower case before she rolls her eyes and kisses toni’s temple.

 

“i love you too, you big dork.” she mumbles against her skin. toni laughs before she begins manipulating the letters once more, and cheryl rolls her eyes and slaps her shoulder when she sees the words:

 

_“sEnD nUdEz?”_

 

“you’re such a child, my god-.”

 

“i spend all day with two four year olds!” toni exclaims, prompting a loud laugh from cheryl before she smirks and takes toni’s hand to lead her out of the kitchen and upstairs.

 

“mmm...why send when i can just show you in person?”

 

“oh, okay, that’s how we’re gonna play this game…”

 

\----------

 

“mommy, what does that say?” 

 

billie points up at the letters on the fridge, but toni’s back is turned to her, unable to see what’s written as she continues washing the girls’ cereal bowls. 

 

“what does what say, bubba?”

 

“s…se…send…uh…noo…nudezzzz-.”

 

toni turns so quickly, she almost snaps her neck as she runs over to the fridge with sopping wet hands and quickly adjusts the letters, hiding them from view and looking down at billie with wide eyes.

 

“uh, nothing! it’s just a bunch of letters mixed together, those aren’t words, okay?” she says in a rush, watching as billie tilts her head in confusion before she shrugs.

 

“okay! nudezzz-.”

 

“okay, quick lesson!” toni scoops her daughter up into her arms with a racing heart and plants her on the counter, watching as billie swings her legs with a wide grin.

 

_god, she’s so cheeky, i’m fucking screwed-_

 

“uh…okay, so don’t say that word, alright? it’s a, uh…it’s a forbidden word! you know, like the one mommy yelled last month when she hit her toe against the table?”

 

“yeah! fuc-.” toni yells and covers her mouth quickly to stop her, glaring down at her and shaking her head.

 

“yes, yes, that one! you can’t say it around mama, or she’ll get really mad, okay? you remember when you said it the first time and she almost went crazy? we don’t want that to happen again, do we?” toni says sternly. billie simply shakes her head, and toni holds up her pinkie and makes billie hook her own around it.

 

“pinky swear?”

 

“pinky swear!”

 

“good girl. go get your sister, i’ll put cartoons on in a second.” toni says with a sigh, dropping billie back down to the ground and watching as she waddles off into the living room, but not before she shouts:

 

“hey cassie! send nudez!”

 

“billie, what did i just say?!” toni screeches.

 

“sorry, mommy!” she hears her shout. toni groans and looks at the letters on the fridge, cursing the day she ever bought them in the first place.

 

“cheryl is gonna kill me…”

 

\----------

 

“god, not another one…”

 

cheryl groans and plucks out another grey hair from her head, sighing as toni chuckles and presses a kiss to her temple before running her fingers through cheryl’s grey stricken hair fondly.

 

“keep plucking them out and four more grow in its place.” she sing songs.

 

“that’s a myth!” cheryl huffs, dropping the tweezers onto the top of the vanity with a sigh before she looks at toni with a pout.

 

“i’m still attractive, right?” she whispers. toni smiles softly and leans in to kiss her lips gently.

 

“cheryl, you are the most beautiful girl in the world, even with your grey hair and your crow’s feet and your wrinkles-.”

 

“god, i hate you so much!” cheryl whines, shoving her away as toni laughs loudly, but it quickly fades as she hums softly and kisses her once more with such a look of affection, cheryl's still floored every time she sees it even after all these years...

 

"i tell you you're beautiful every single day, and i mean it, cher-bear. you're _perfect._ " she whispers. cheryl smiles and kisses her again, smiling against her before she brushes her thumb over her cheek affectionately. toni kisses her the palm of her hand and pulls her up off the seat in front of the vanity.

 

“come on, we’re gonna be late for our reservations!”

 

“alright, alright…let’s go.” cheryl sighs, letting toni lead her out of their bedroom and down the steps. she can’t pinpoint when they traded their dresses and short skirts for fucking pantsuits and blazers, but she can’t exactly pinpoint when she started getting wrinkles and fucking grey hair either, so-

 

“billie! cassie! we’re leaving!” toni yells out as they reach the bottom of the steps.

 

“wait, come in here a sec!” they hear cassandra yell out. toni frowns and exchanges a glance with cheryl before they make their way towards the kitchen, cheryl already making a list of rules for her daughters to follow.

 

“we’ll be back by midnight, no parties, you’re only sixteen, and no boys or girls allowed over-.”

 

cheryl pauses as soon as they make their way through the door, staring in shock as cassandra and billie stand in front of them with a whole meal decked out on the island top. 

 

lobsters. there’s lobsters, they’re…how did their daughters-

 

“oh, we didn’t cook this, we just ordered from the restaurant you guys were going to and brought it here instead.” cassandra says with a grin.

 

“and we paid for it!” billie says proudly, nudging her sister with an even wider grin as toni and cheryl blink in shock.

 

“girls, i…what-.”

 

“you’ve also got the house to yourself all night, because we’re staying at auntie ronnie’s and uncle archie’s! we’ve been planning this with them and cousin victoria for ages!” cassandra says, perfect white teeth on display as billie giggles at the looks on her mothers’ faces. 

 

“in other words, you guys can, uh…what was it, cassie? ‘send nudez’ to each other-.”

 

“billie, i swear to god!” toni groans, rubbing her temples as billie laughs loudly and surges forward to wrap her mother up in a hug.

 

“just messing around, ma! seriously though, it’s your twenty-fifth anniversary, you guys deserve a night without us around! so enjoy your meal, and each other’s company, and uh, call us if one of you breaks a hip or something-.”

 

“that’s it, i officially love cassie more.” toni grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest as billie gasps in mock horror and glares at her wickedly.

 

“as if, you love me! i’m the light of your liiiiife, remember?” billie sing songs, hugging her close with a wide smile and closed eyes as toni looks at cheryl with a helpless smile.

 

“what billie is trying to say is: this one is on us. for being the best mothers to us for the last sixteen years of our life. we cancelled your reservation, so don’t stress, there’s wine in the fridge and there’s little chocolate strawberries, too! have fun!” cassandra says, jumping forward and kissing cheryl’s cheek before she does the same to toni and grabs billie’s hand.

 

“come on, let’s go!” 

 

“wait!” cheryl calls out. both girls stop and turn, and cheryl sighs before she pulls them both in for a tight hug, blinking back tears as she does.

 

“we love you. thank you girls…” she whispers. toni joins the hug, wrapping all four of them in her arms somehow as the girls laugh against them and hug them back just as tightly.

 

“we love you, too. call us if you need us.” cassandra whispers. cheryl pulls back and brushes her thumb over cassandra’s cheek with a smile before billie grins and winks at them both.

 

“now have fun, you old bags!” 

 

toni growls playfully and pretends to kick at billie as the girl jumps away with a loud cackle and grabs cassandra’s hand, leading her to the front door while toni and cheryl watch them go fondly.

 

“man, we really raised the most amazing daughters…” toni whispers, looking to cheryl with nothing but pride as cheryl leans in to kiss the corner of her mouth with a grin.

 

“mmm, we did. we really fucking did.” toni laughs, looks back at the meal waiting for them on the island before she takes cheryl’s hand and leads her over to the fridge. the letters are all frayed and almost discolored now, just black magnets with purple and pink and red sticking to them as she rearranges the letters to spell out:

 

_“i LoVe YoU.”_

 

and cheryl smiles and grabs a few other letters before placing them underneath it.

 

_“forever and always, babe.”_


End file.
